Monday, October 20, 2014

Zombies can't ride bikes.. right?

A few thousand zombies on bicycles descended on Key West yesterday. Yes, thousands.. on bicycles. Every year the Zombie Bike ride embarks from one side of the island and lands at the heart of downtown. Thousands of locals and visitors dress up in their creepiest or most creative costumes and pedal themselves down the street among the other un-dead. This year, I was one of those un-dead. 

Thanks to some internet searching, a little glue and some toilet paper I appeared as if I had gotten in a fight with an actual zombie. Seriously, I'm not even going to give you direction as to how I did it, it was that simple. Elmers glue would have probably worked better than the Modge Podge I used, only bc all of our wounds didn't stay on through a few miles of bicycle riding sweat. 

Seriously, washable glue, and toilet paper. Then a crap load of makeup and blood. 
You may want to start making cocktails while you're doing it too, it's a bit messy and that's OK. Tip: eat first. If there's going to be scar or patch of skin on your face it's not comfortable to have to open your mouth extremely wide after it dries. Plus your skin may be flaking off into your food. Yum. 

The blisters on boyfriends neck were tp and glue also, just shaped slightly different than the long cut on my arm/face. It was kind of grossing me out looking at them. 

(not our bike)

Once we were all zombie-fied and our cooler was packed, we rode over to the start point and checked out everyone elses bikes and costumes. We probably knew another 50 people there and couldn't recognize most of them. 6 p.m. on the dot we took off on the slow trek across the island. Locals were lining the streets cheering us on, spraying fog into the air, or playing creepy Halloween music as we rode by. 

It was an experience that I plan on participating in again next year. I cant wait to try to step up my zombie game and see how we look a year from now. Plus, it's always nice to freak out the tourist who have no idea whats going on when a zombie walks into a bar...

Weekend Recap

Saturday, October 18, 2014

The creepiest thing that has ever happen to me.

I thought my parents house was haunted...  

When I was little my family moved north of Miami into a home that sat, from the perspective of a kid, in the middle of no where. When we moved in the yard was so overgrown there were huge banana spiders and snakes hanging off the eves of the house. There were large trees and mangled bushes littering the acre of land. Being in what used to be swamp land, there was distinct wet muck smell anytime you would step outside. 

The interior of the house was slightly better but not by much. The previous owner painted the walls pink. The carpet in the living room was also pink. The kitchen was enclosed except for a small doorway. The cabinets were dark wood, hanging over counter tops of orange-red laminate. I don't remember what the inside smelled like and that's probably for the best. 

I had my own room, yellow walls with green carpet. It was down at the end of the hallway, next to the guestroom and sharing a wall with my parents.   Now to a kid that hallway was the best and worst thing about the house. During the day it was a spectacular place to skate or run and jump over the dog gate. By night, it was a space to rush down to my room. I use the term rushing bc at four room lengths long, it reminded me of something out of the shining. 

Being an only child I spent a lot of time hanging out by myself. I've always been somewhat of a night owl - staying up past my bedtime occupying myself in my own little space. This is prime horror story material, little girl all alone late at night at the end of a long dark hallway. 

This is when I tell you how I used to hear sounds down the hallway. Granted my imagination was probably just running wild but when I would have friends sleep over they would get eerie feelings about the noises like I would. They didn't like the hallway anymore than I did. 

Those noises continued year after year, always around the same time of night. After a while you learned to ignore them - until they stopped. 

This is where the creepy part comes in. 

Fast forward until the age of about 16. I would have group sleep overs int he living room, at the far end of the house so my parents wouldn't be kept up all night. As a teenager you think things like ouiji boards are fun right? They're fun until you play one in your own house. 

There were probably 10 or so people in the living room that night. Some of us gathered around the board to play, others gossiped or watched TV. Once the game was underway things got weird, very fast. 

With this many people, coming up with any form of teamwork is next to impossible. Until questions were asked of whatever or whoever was making the noises in my house. 


Da fuq? More questions came spilling out of the groups mouths and more answers followed. He was 7 years old. 

At this point everyone was super nervous about what was going on. Looking up from the board I noticed one girl had an odd expression on her face. Following her gaze I saw a trail of blood flowing down from a friends nose. I'm. not. even. kidding. 

Most people wanted to stop playing but it's bad form to just cut off whatever was "speaking". They quickly had to come up with a way to not piss off little Brian yet gtfo of the game. Lucky for us it seemed to work bc nothing escalated after that night. 

Better yet, the noises stopped. 


Making Melissa


Just a quick follow up. We all decided the ouiji board had to go and the best way to make it disappear was to burn to behind a friends barn. 

One guy set a lighter to the corner of the cardboard game and it wouldn't light

A little lighter fluid later, same problem. How does a game board made of pressed paper not catch fire?

Our last attempt was straight gasoline. Not a ton, just enough to get the job done. On the first attempt it still wouldn't light. On the second the entire thing became engulfed in flames - shooting straight up the guys arm and taking all the hair with it but not burning him. 

To this day I wont touch one of those games. Even in plastic wrap on a store shelf. 

Friday, October 17, 2014

Friday Letters

|| Dear upstairs neighbors,
     I'm not sure if you are hard of hearing or if you just don't want us to sleep in our very comfortable bed at night but can you please turn down your damn tv? Changing your choice of music would also be fantastic. Blasting sounds that resemble Mandy Moore songs late into the evening make me want to shove spiky objects in my ears. Oh, and to the guy that lives next to you - please stop letting your dog pee off the balcony. K? Thanks. 

|| Dear man who gives out chocolate chip cookie samples at Publix:
     I love you. 

|| Dear basic white girls, 
       You're making me sad. You post all of these photos of pumpkin patches and selfies while drinking PSLs and I can't participate in any of that. It's still 90 degrees down here, there are no pumpkin patches and the closest Starbucks is in a hotel downtown. It's hardly a complete Starbucks at that. 

|| Dear fellow bloggers, 
     I'm actually wondering how long it's going to take for one of you to write a post about Ebola symptoms. Normally you guys are all over things like this. I don't really need to be reminded about it though. If you want to skip it, that's fine by me. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

October | Currently

Watching || Game of Thrones. One episode after another. Once I'm done with those I'm going to set my sights on the latest season of Supernatural on Netflix. 
Reading || Not enough. I miss the days when I woud have time to get lost in a book. Any rec's?
Eating || Pumpkin cinnamon bread, Halloween Oreos and those fantastic homemade apple scones pictured up there. 

Wearing || The same damn thing I always do. Flip flops and shorts. Some days I'll even pull out a cardigan... if its windy. 
Researching || Zombie face paint and how to make my own deer antlers for Halloween. 
Looking forward to || The Zombie Bike Ride on Sunday!

He doesn't buy me flowers.

AB has never bought me flowers. 

There were no chocolates at valentines day and there are no trinkets or jewels adorning me that have come from him.

Long ago I wanted a boyfriend who spoiled me with the things that the other girls were getting. I wanted to be a girl who could post photos to IG and FB - photos so beautiful your senses could almost smell the roses, or better yet, something exotic and hard to acquire. What I have been given far outweigh those things. 

I have an empty sink, the dishes have already been done. 

I have someone that deals with my messy piles of "organization".

I have two comforters on our bed so he doesn't steal my blanket in the middle of the night.

I have fresh caught, cleaned and cooked seafood on the regular. 

I have someone that will pick me up after a night out drinking with girlfriends.

I have empty clothes hampers bc he will do it if I've been ridiculously busy with work. 

I have a date to happy hour every week. 

I have dinner ready when I come home late two nights a week. 

I must have been a silly little girl to put ANY importance on possessions, especially ones that die.Right now,  I'll be happy if he never buys me flowers.